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Time has a habit of slipping away, becoming filled with activities (even just watching television) you didn’t plan. Schedule your amorous adventures so they don’t get away from you. Call them dates, if you like. Planning to make love creates anticipation and piques interest. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything special. Set aside an evening, or a morning or an afternoon if your days are free, just for each other.

If you and your partner have been together a long time, chances are you have a fairly established pattern when it comes to having sex. The next time you find yourself starting your regular ritual, stop and make a change. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Shower together instead of separately, light scented candles, or massage each other with heated body oil. Play music that you heard on your first date. Wear something surprising (or even naughty!) to bed. Even very small changes can give your love life a new sense of excitement. Or consider a change of venue. For instance, check into a hotel for a romantic getaway.

Even though it’s natural for your body to slow down, your brain may still be telling you to move things along at a faster pace. Relax and enjoy the journey. Explore new ways to stimulate your partner outside of intercourse. Take pleasure in both giving and receiving, and let things unfold at their natural pace.

Sometimes health issues make your formerly favourite lovemaking positions uncomfortable or even impossible. If arthritis or a similar condition is a problem, try side-to-side positions, which relieve any need to support yourself or accommodate your partner’s weight. Seated positions let you vary the depth of penetration while giving you additional support (especially if you place your back against a wall or the back of a chair). If a man has difficulty maintaining an erection, he may want to try lying on top of his partner with his legs outside hers so that she can further stimulate his penis by squeezing her thighs together.

It’s great when you have the whole afternoon to indulge in sex, or an evening when you are not tired. But this isn’t always the case. Rather than rushing through a “quickie,” try breaking off your lovemaking and returning later to pick up where you left off. A man may find that he’s enjoyed a sexy session of giving pleasure to his partner even if he hasn’t experienced orgasm himself.

After sex, delight in the comforts of lying beside each other. Use the time to talk, or simply drift off to sleep together.

Cultivating a loving relationship with a spouse or partner is one way to increase your odds of having a healthy future. Numerous studies have documented the protective benefits of a good marriage and the negative effects of a marriage filled with strife or marred by indifference. But you need more than one central relationship to get the most from social connection.

It’s equally important to cultivate friends whose interests and outlook on life match your own. Try also to find ways to connect with your community; it will enrich your life and elevate your sense of self-worth.

Researchers observed that retired people who devote about 40 hours of volunteer time a year to projects aimed at helping the disadvantaged (working at a local food bank, or mentoring a youngster) had a 30 per cent lower risk of dying during the seven-year study than their less socially engaged peers. Clearly, doing good for others also does a lot of good for you.

Recreational activities will also expand your circle of friends. Whether you want to learn a computer program or need help perfecting a chocolate soufflé, you can probably find a class or club that will fulfill your need while introducing you to people with similar interests. If you live near a college, find out what continuing education classes they offer. Many public school districts offer community education programs as well.

A walking club or a reading group will also lead you to people who want to make friends. As John W. Rowe, M.D., and Robert L. Kahn, Ph.D., note in their bookSuccessful Aging, humans “are hardwired, genetically programmed, to develop and function by interacting with others. Talking, touching, and relating to others is essential to our well-being. These facts are not unique to children or to older adults; they apply to all of us, from birth to death.” Despite the difficulty of making friends, we must remember that we need them as much as we need food, water, and light.

Researchers say that social support is the key to a long and happy life. But what exactly is social support? The short answer is the degree to which a person’s basic social needs are met through interaction with others. Social support fulfills the most basic human needs of:

• Being cared for and loved

• Sharing intimacy

• Being esteemed and valued; having your personal worth confirmed

• Companionship, communication, and a sense of belonging

• Easy access to information, advice, and guidance from others

• Material and financial assistance in times of need.

Having intercourse regularly helps to keep your sex drive in high gear by increasing the production of testosterone, which is the hormone mainly responsible for libido in both men and women.

Why? Because it's scientifically proven that smoking can clog the blood vessels in the penis in the same way it clogs the arteries in your heart. Ever heard a better reason to quit?

More than 200 medications can cause erection problems and diminished sex drive, including drugs used to treat high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, and stomach problems. Check the Internet or ask your pharmacist or doctor if any of the drugs on your list could be culprits. Of course, you can't stop taking a drug you need, but you can talk to your doctor about possibly changing the brand, dose, or timing of your medication.

Even if you don't go, spending time together picturing where you'd go, looking at photos on the Web, and imagining yourself in some tropical paradise will be enough of a libido booster to get you to bed — early. Plus, it's a lot more stimulating to talk about than why your teenager is failing geometry.

You know what Kegels are — they're the squeezing exercises your doctor told you to do after pregnancy or because you were having a bit of a problem with leaking urine. What Doc probably didn't tell you is that they're also great for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle, essential for orgasm. To do Kegels, take note of the muscle you use to stop urinary flow, then practice contracting that muscle, gradually releasing it. Work up to 20 contractions three times a day.